


Not Just a Study Session

by GoofyLemur13



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Moving On, Multi, Other, Romance, Slow Burn, Spuffy, Tragedy, Turning Tragedy into Triumph, Very AU, finding yourself
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2018-11-04 13:38:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10992033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoofyLemur13/pseuds/GoofyLemur13
Summary: After Buffy Summers suffers a tragic accident involving her parents, she moves to California with her Godfather Rupert Giles, his daughter Dawn Giles, and William Spike Giles his adopted son. Originally from Tennessee, Buffy Summers isn't used to Dawn's pace of weekly parties and socialite lifestyle while her Godfather, Rupert, goes out of town on business almost every week. Without the hope of her cheerleading scholarship to her top choice college, the University of Tennessee, Buffy finds herself needing to stay focused her senior year in order to maintain a competitive GPA to attend any university. Even if it's just the local state university she's been contemplating. Buffy finds the ability to stay focused on her academics in the pool house where Rupert Giles' adopted son William "Spike" Giles stays while attending university. Buffy finds, not only a place to study for her courses, but a friend who may not understand what she's gone through, but is willing to listen and ultimately provides healing and hope for a future after her parents' death. AU. SPUFFY.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was created in pieces. The first chapter I wrote about four years ago and I finally picked it back up a few weeks ago. Any advice or feedback is welcome! Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> *Just as a notice, originally I had Rupert as Buffy Summers' biological uncle with Spike as his adopted son. Technically, according to law within the U.S. that would mean if Buffy and Spike had a relationship, according to the law, it would be incest which is morally wrong. I changed Rupert to Buffy's Godfather with legal guardianship IAW her parents' will because she is a minor. Hopefully this resolves all legal and moral issues...the intention is for this fic is to eventually be SPUFFY.
> 
> I own absolutely nothing. All characters belong to Joss Whedon.

Buffy sat in her room _glaring_ at the pulsating door. _Was_ _it_ _really_ _necessary_ _to_ _have_ _the_ _music_ _that_ _loud_? The door to her room was vibrating. _Her_ _room_ _was_ _vibrating_. As if it couldn't get any worse she heard a guitar strike a high squealing noise followed by lots of cat calls and whistling.

 _That's_ _it_! Buffy let out an exasperated cry throwing her pencil against her textbook. AP Calculus quiz failed. She sat there for a few minutes devising a plan. Dawn had warned her there was going to be a party. That was basic grounds for, _look whatever studying you planned on getting done tonight won't happen._ She looked outside her window for some sort of assurance that this night wasn't going to be utterly useless. Her eyes caught something, lights being turned on in the pool house. Someone drawing the curtains. Spike was home. A place to study for AP Calculus. Buffy nodded in determination and stood up picking her graphing calculator and her Calc textbook off her desk. She loaded her backpack up with snacks she'd stowed in her room, her books, and cans of soda she'd stole from the kitchen for the sole reason of avoiding the party. She grabbed her jacket and opened the door to her room.

She immediately closed her door wishing she had a key to lock it. There were too many people out in the hall. Some were couples practically having sex with clothes on. Others were just being social and drinking from red plastic cups. A few smiled politely and let her pass without issue and others stared at her like she was a freak. She finally found her way to the bottom of the stairs. She squeezed her way in between people gyrating to the loud band and other people lining the kitchen.

"Heyyy Buffffyyy!" she recognized the voice and rolled her eyes before turning around.

"Xander." She smiled with tight politeness.

"Whoahh, what's with the look?" Xander slurred clutching, what was sure to be, not his first drink of the night. "Dude, where are you going. You can't study at a party. Are you wearing a _book bag_?" He snorted. Dawn had clearly not told him that Buffy hated parties and wasn't (read: didn't want to be) invited. Her and Spike were simply warned so that they could make alternate plans for the night.

"I'm actually going to study. Away from all the loud noise. You know. AP Calculus quiz tomorrow." She turned to leave having about enough of this boy and everyone else in the house. All this gyration and stench of alcohol was sure to make her sick. Being in the **_in_** crowd was not what it was made out to be. Clearly. She stepped around Xander ignoring any attempt at further conversation.

"Heyy, Bufffyyy, where are you going?"

"Xander, please. I've had enough tonight." Her eyes flashed with anger. She had little patience already and could see herself delighting in taking it entirely out on this annoying, obviously drunk, dude.

Xander lifted up his hands, "Alright, I'm offff. Havvee a greaattt night. I'll be here all night if you chhhhange your miinddd."

"Trust me, I won't." Buffy snipped. She pivoted on her heel and headed for the porch door. The night air hit her face like a baby's breath. Soft and new. She breathed a sigh of relief and headed towards the back lawn. She managed to make it past a few people hanging out on the porch without tripping over them. The farther she went in the backyard the quieter it became and the more in heaven she felt. She reached Spike's door at the pool house in a better mood than when she'd left the party. She knocked quietly.

 _Maybe_ _she_ _should_ _have_ _texted_ _first_....duh Buffy.

His head peeked out the curtains seeing her, "In a second, bit."

Buffy waited for few minutes. She tried to listen to any noises but heard none.

He answered the door. His hair was askew, not it's typical slick back appearance. A fresh shower smell of goodness emitted from his warm body. Buffy blushed lightly and looked at him through her lashes, "Do you mind if I look over my Calculus notes here? It's so loud in my room. I could hardly concentrate." She flashed an apologetic smile for her intrusion.

He blinked, "Yeah, no course not, love."

The manly smell of the pool house hit Buffy's nose so strong she almost groaned. God it smelled good. Collogue and a faint smell of musk. She looked around at all the papers and clothes. She blushed again realizing she'd just stepped into a man's private home...without giving him much notice. A place where he did all sorts of stuff. Private things. Sexy things. Involving his strong and calloused hands. _And_ _on_ _that_ _note_ _Buffy_ _you're_ _a_ **_perv_**.

Spike started pulling clothes off of the couch and tables. Here and there he moved around. "Sorry the place is a mess, pet. Don't have much time to clean between work and school. Please come in." He spun around and tossed some clothes towards his bedroom. They landed in a scattered pile just outside of the door.

"How is that by the way?" Buffy quietly shut the door and walked into the tiny house setting her backpack down next to the couch. "The whole college thing?" Buffy was seriously curious.

"It's a 'college' thing. A bit different from high school. Loads more work." Spike had finished tossing stuff about and turned to his guest situated on the couch. She looked out of place _and yet_.... yet she looked like she'd been sitting there like this was a routine every night. There was just something about _this girl_ that made everything fit around her. He'd noticed it the first time he'd met her, when Giles had brought her home after...He ran his hands through his hair to distract his sullen thoughts.

"I have to start thinking about all that soon." Buffy admitted softly. Her plans had changed after....She was no longer a cheerleader and she was sure her cheerleading scholarship to the University of Tennessee was no longer available. She was on her own. Kinda like an average person who didn't play sports. Fighting with the masses for top choice colleges. "I might just settle for a state school close to here." She offered off handedly. Not really thinking she had much of a choice now. She felt that her college plan was blown.

"Oh no, bit. You deserve so much better for yourself." Spike sat down on the couch giving Buffy enough space of her own. She looked at him. Aware of how close he was. He was aware too, but he made an effort not to take notice. This wasn't about that, this was about her and what she was talking about at this moment. She needed to know that she deserved better because of everything that had happened to her. She deserved so much better than the hand life had dealt her.

"You should study up and retake the SATs or take them if you haven't already. See where you end up. I wouldn't settle now. You settle now and you'll end up like me."

"Yeah," Buffy's eyes were clouded with frustration of some sort. Spike couldn't place it. Mysterious young woman. "You don't have it so bad. Giles is generous for letting you stay here. I'm sure I could just attend class and stay."

"What was your plan originally? I know you had one." He asked trying to draw her out. He turned towards her lifting his arm to drape across the sofa. He lightly touched her arm then. Just slightly to spur her into conversation.

Buffy felt goose bumps rise on her arm as he touched it. She knew he meant it to be friendly but she couldn't help the way her heartbeat picked up. She kept looking at him to see if he realized what it was doing to her but he never showed a sign, the only thing on his face and in his eyes was concern. "I had a full ride to my first choice." She looked down at the floor through her lashes. And that's all she wanted to say about that, making it clear the subject of her parents and her previous life were _off limits_. He just looked at her, saw her sadness, unwillingness to talk about it, he furrowed his eyebrows, and pursed his lips. He looked as if he was considering something.

 _Good job, Buffy, now you sound like a huge downer._ "I don't know. I could still probably apply anyways." She smiled at him and reached down to unzip her backpack pulling out her calculator and textbook to continue her homework she'd started in her room. She tossed him a snack from her bag and motioned to a soda. He shook his head so she just grabbed one for her herself. She ripped the snack package open with her teeth and began studying wiping away tiny crumbs she dropped into the textbook.

Spike took the cue and walked over to the door grabbing his own bookbag and returning to the couch. He eyed her cautiously. He wanted to pull her into his arms, to study with her, to breath the smell of the skin on her neck. To kiss her neck. He was surprised by these feelings. He swallowed them down and turned his attention to reading for one of his college classes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm trying to build some plot in here. Not a whole lot about the encounter with Buffy and Spike. Getting there though. Comments, kudos, and thoughts are welcome. :)

_Glass flew past her head as she was spinning with the vehicle as it tumbled over and over again. She heard her mom crying out in pain and the sound of her father's head smacking against the passenger side door. Her eyes grew dim as her mother turned around to see her. Joyce Summers' bright blue eyes were filled with a well of tears and blood was matted to her hair. She was saying something to Buffy she couldn't hear. "I love you?" "I'm sorry?" Buffy felt her throat tighten, her mouth dropping open. She was screaming out of fear and frustration because she was terrified and it felt like someone hit the mute button. She couldn't hear a sound except a steady ringing in her ears._

_She looked beyond her mom, sharp tree tops were coming towards the front of the vehicle. A big and thick pine tree sliced through the already busted wind shield. She thought the tree might grab her as it plunged through the vehicle. Instead it sliced at her face and punctured through the back seat like it was butter. She felt something wet on her face trickle down and dribble to her cheerleading uniform. The air was filled with an acrid smell. Blood, car exhaust, air bags, trees. She would forever hate the smell of a Christmas Tree because of that._

**9 months later...**

Buffy found Dawn Giles in the kitchen after school the next day. She was feeling confident she'd knocked her AP Calculus quiz out of the park earlier that day. Despite doing well on this one quiz, this class would be the death of her for sure. It was every bit as hard as it sounded. There were two exams worth 50 points a piece, one before Christmas break and another at the end of the Spring. There were no projects or class participation grades. Just quizzes (10 points) and the exams. The teacher, Ms. Calendar, explained that in college this was the level of effort expected. She wanted to provide her students with an authentic college experience since Advance Placement courses were supposed to prepare you for college.

"Hey B. Sorry about all the noise last night." Dawn commented while she was scrolling through her phone with one hand and munching on an apple with the other. Buffy figured she was on social media looking at how many people had commented or "liked" her pictures from the other night. Buffy had noticed before school that a number of photos were posted...mostly of people Buffy didn't recognize holding solo cups and hugging each other for photos. There were a couple of good ones of Dawn and her best friend Cordelia Chase.

"It's okay, you warned me so I should have made other plans. It _was_ really loud though, Dawn. I'm surprised the neighbors didn't complain. I ran into Xander Harris while I was attempting to escape. _That_ was a nightmare. I got some studying at pool house last night with Spike so it's all good." She was careful and kept her voice nonchalant as she relayed her encounter with Spike. She didn't want to seem eager to talk about him, studying with him had seemed...like something she didn't want to share with Dawn. 

Dawn's eyebrows shot up but her attention was still glued to her phone, "Neighbors don't complain when they're skiiing in Colorado. Yikes, sorry about Harris. He can be an ass sometimes. I hope Spike didn't bother you. I know dad talked to him about you before you got here.... "

 _Talked with **him** about **me**? _ "No! I mean, no he was fine. I think I aced my AP Calc quiz so that's good." Buffy replied walking over to the fridge and pulling out a bottle of water. _Why_ _would_ _Rupert_ _talk_ _to_ _Spike_ _about_ _me_? _What_ _would_ _he_ _have_ _said_? _It was probably about what happened...why I'm here. Details of....._ Buffy meditated on this while considering an afternoon run. She took several sips of water. The weather was semi-cool for a sunny California day. Perhaps she could get in 5 miles before it got too dark outside. That would certainly ease her mind from the nightmare she'd had the previous night...

Dawn looked up from her phone finally. She gave Buffy a pointed stare, "You really need a night out if you think acing a _Calculus_ quiz is the high point of your day." It wasn't meant to be mean, but when Dawn met someone who didn't put their social status as a priority, she took on this "hen pecking" tone that Buffy could not stand. Buffy noticed her temper increased tenfold around Dawn because of her sheer ignorance outside of the material things of life. 

Buffy turned her head attempting to hide her angry flashing green eyes filled with annoyance. At this particular moment, she wanted to inform _Dawnie_ \- her nickname among friends- that not everybody had parents to pay for a full ride to college. Not everybody could be a social debutante and get accepted to the school of their choice because their father graduated from there and served on the alumni board. Losing her parents changed Buffy's entire life, unlike Dawn, she would have to fight for every opportunity hereafter. 

Since her conversation with Spike the night before, she had thought about what he said regarding college. It did seem to Buffy that just giving up on her chances to attend a good college wouldn't be what her parents would want for her if they had a say now. She was just...depressed...which was an understatement. Life had just gone on without Hank and Joyce Summers just as easily as it went on with them alive. Buffy was expected to make plans that she found pointless sometimes because she wanted to make them with her parents. The excitement over college was something she enjoyed talking about and planning with her mother most. Especially since recruiters were offering her a scholarship for competitive cheerleading at UT. Cheerleading was another thing that Buffy and her parents did together. It was a goal that she worked towards with her parents as her main support system. It didn't make sense to carry on without them. And then there was the money issue of college itself which she'd avoided mentioning to Spike the night before...

She knew her parents hadn't planned for a tragedy like this. _Who_ _in_ _the_ _world_ _ever_ _did_? Buffy and Rupert had discovered after she laid her parents to rest, there wasn't much left in terms of life insurance money. Buffy would gain access to her mother's retirement, however, that was several years down the road. Long after most of her major life decisions like college, a career, and lifestyle were already made. Rupert, being her legal guardian according to the Summers' will, had offered, several times, to help in any way that he could. He had offered to pay for Buffy's first year at the state college she had mentioned attending. She was still considering his offer because if she got good grades she wouldn't need help affording it hopefully. But...she hadn't mentioned or entertained going anywhere outside of the college she had discussed with Rupert. She couldn't ask him to fit the bill for something like that. Especially since she was no longer qualified for her competitive cheerleading scholarship. Once again her mind returned to  _maybe_ _going_ _local_ _was_ _her_ _only_ _choice_...

After Dawn left with a group of friends for a dinner party for someone - Buffy didn't recognize the name of whoever it was- she threw on her running shoes thankful to have time alone to turn things over in her head. Running had always been a way to ease stress from her life even prior to cheerleading. She had been in track when she was younger for the recreational department, but during middle school she switched to cross country for the school's team. After cheerleading season was over at her old high school, she would participate in track and field to stay in shape.

She turned up the road from Dawn's house and made it to the main road of their subdivision. She ran until dusk, pumping her legs through various streets. When the light started to drift below the clouds she returned back to the Giles' residence, spent, hungry, and ready for bed. She loved running until exhaustion because she found it helped her sleep much better. She was certain no nightmares would come to claim her tonight.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting to get into the swing of things. Happy to have written 1,000+ words! Let me know what you think! Don't worry, this is not the end of this conversation between Buffy and Spike. :)

Buffy stared at the computer screen, _frustrated Buffy mode_ _is_ _in_ _full_ _swing_ _tonight_ she thought. She glared at the screen of her laptop as she typed the final part of her argument for her paper due for AP Literature the next day. She whined, “Can someone please explain to me why analyzing _Hamlet_ is necessary for me to graduate?” She finished typing out her final sentence and spun around sounding off dramatically, “I absolutely hate English. I hate it with the _fiery passion of death from the bottom of my soul_.” She placed her hand upon her heart for extra dramatics.

Spike looked up from the book he was reading with an expression of amusement, “ _Hey, hey,_ there will be none of that talking about English in this space. This is a safe space for English, yeah? _Hamlet_ is not that bad, pet. Now I wouldn’t sign up to reread Macbeth any time soon though. That one just made my skin crawl.”

Buffy wrinkled her nose and turned around to face him more fully. “I have never liked English. You know what subjects I like to study? Science, History, Math, Physics…something with facts. Subjects with a definite answer. Literature is interpretive bullshit with millions of answers to one question. No, thank you. I’ll take the straight forward any day.”

Spike scoffed, “ _Interpretive bullshit_? Right, well suit yourself, love. It’s official, then, our friendship is doomed. I’m a literature major. And just so you're aware, pet, science, and all those other fancy subjects do not have _definite answers._ ” He bit the skin next to his thumbnail raising his eyebrows.

“Just because I don’t like literature as a subject doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, Spike.” Buffy teased, “It just means one of us lives in the _real world_ …while the other one prefers a _fictional world_. What made you want to be a literature major anyways?”

He pointed the book he was reading at Buffy and said, “Hey, I resent that comment. I live very much in the _real world_ , goldilocks, and you would do well to remember that.” He paused for a moment and swung around walking over towards the table Buffy was sitting at, “Ever since I was a young kid I’ve enjoyed poetry and books. I’m bloody awful at writing and there’s no money in that anyways. So…that leaves teaching which if I can understand what these poofs are trying to tell people like you I guess that’s what I should do with an English degree.” He sat down at the table where Buffy was sitting turning his blue eyes on the small petite blond in front of him.

Buffy smiled rolling her eyes. “I _guess_ that’s a reasonable explanation. So that’s what you want to do when you finish school? You want to teach?”

“Ah. You mean wanting to be a teacher means you’re _reasonable_ and live in _‘_ the _real world’_?” Spike chuckled his eyes twinkling, “Yes, that’s the plan for now.” He countered, “So what is it you want to do, bit? Do you know what you want to major in once you attend college?”

Buffy shifted uncomfortably. _Why is he always asking these questions?_ She hated talking about herself. Could we just go back to joking about Spike's English degree, now?

“I’m not really sure. Sometimes…I think about being a counselor in a high school. It’s such a tough age you know?” Buffy offered.

Spike gave Buffy a warm smile, “Yeah, I don’t remember much about being 17, I’ve probably repressed it all, but from what I remember, that age is complete shit.” He studied Buffy for a minute and then said, “I think you’d be good as a counselor. After what you’ve gone through? Yes.” Spike offered, but immediately noticed a change in Buffy's attitude. Spike’s eyes searched the face of the small girl in front of him wishing he could read what it was she was thinking in that moment. _What_ _did_ _that_ _shift_ _in_ _her_ _emotions_ _mean_? She wouldn’t look him in the eye, she seemed to be staring off somewhere beyond, he cut into her thoughts with, “Listen, Rupert talked to me….”

Buffy looked up at him pulling herself from her revere, “Yeah, I know. Dawn told me,” she whispered softly.

Spike’s mouth snapped shut unsure of how to press forward.

“Don’t feel like you have to say anything. There’s nothing to say and I really don't want to talk about it.” Buffy felt like she was starting to suffocate with the turn of this conversation. Buffy feared the variable amount of questions or comments out of Spike’s mouth that she was not ready to talk with anyone about, especially not someone she didn't feel like she knew very well. She knew Spike meant well, but this topic was off limits between them even if he was easy to talk to and made the effort to check up on her. She got up from the table closing her laptop. She placed her hands on the top of her laptop and opened her mouth to thwart him off further her green eyes flashing with a warning, “It’s-“

Spike, without a blink, held up a hand to stop her speech. Buffy studied his flaked black nail polish as he said, “You can just stop there, pet. I know that you’re not ready to talk about what happened. You’re a strong woman, I get that, don’t need a man mucking it all up and trying to make it worse, yeah? Probably don’t want or need any more complicated in your life. That’s fine, but maybe at some point you’ll want to talk? Would you at least keep me in mind? That’s all I have to say. No lectures…from the much hated future english teacher.” His lips twisted up into a devilish grin.

Buffy smiled, appreciating the respect he’d shown her by not pressing the subject.

“I’ll think about it.” She said quietly and resumed packing her laptop and study materials.

\--

Later that night in her room Buffy sat in her bed fixing her hair into tiny pigtails. She thought about when she was little and her mom used to brush her hair before school. She’d fix her hair into curls with pretty pink, white, purple, or blue ribbons. She closed her eyes wishing she could recall her mother’s voice while she talked to her while doing her hair, but the more days that passed after the accident, the less Buffy could recall about the small details of her parents. Buffy could not understand how the brain could forget small details from those she loved so much, who raised her, and supported her. Didn’t her brain understand those small memories were all she had left of her parents?

She curled up into her bed, turning the bedside table light off, and closed her eyes. She could smell the pine trees long before the nightmare began and she smelled them long after she thrashed awake sweating and blinking blearily into the darkness of her room.


	4. Chapter 4

“Hi, good afternoon Ms. Summers, thank you for coming by my office. I’m Robin Wood the school counselor. Most of the students here call me Mr. Wood,” he said flashing a bright smile. He appeared to be in his early thirties with dark mocha skin and a shaved head. Buffy admired his overall fashion, not many could pull off a shaved head and make it look good. He stood up from his desk and offered his hand to Buffy and she took it settling into the cushy chair opposite of the counselor’s desk.

“Not a problem, Mr. Wood. I understand that you wanted to go through my schedule for next semester?”

“Yes, and no, actually. Buffy, it’s been brought to my attention, by some negligence on my part, that this is your first semester at this school. You transferred from,” Mr. Wood looked down at Buffy’s file finding her transcript, “Tennessee?”

Buffy shifted uncomfortably in the big cushioned chair, “That’s correct, sir, yes.”

“I apologize that I didn’t do this before, but normally when a student under my care transfers, I like to see them in my office for a least one session to ensure the transfer between schools is going well. Some people can find transferring schools to be an adjustment. Depending on their response, I normally set up a follow-up session if I feel that it’s necessary. Do you mind if I ask why you transferred from the East coast?” he replied.

Buffy cleared her throat. _Here we go_ , she thought defensively, “You can. My Godfather, Rupert Giles lives here. I moved here because he is now my legal guardian.”

“Your Godfather? I never had one of those, you must feel incredibly fortunate to have him in your life?” Mr. Wood asked warmly.

“Yes, I do actually. It was incredibly sudden, having to move here I mean, and he’s been very supportive and I haven’t felt like I’ve been an intrusion into his life which I was worried about at first.” Buffy responded.

“What does he do? As a profession, I mean?” Mr. Wood asked.

“He’s in business. I don’t exactly understand all the technicalities, but he’s out of town quite a lot because of work which I understand. He’s back and forth to San Diego quite a bit.” Buffy fiddled with the fabric on the chair as she said this.

“What do you think about him being so absent all the time? Do you mind?” he asked.

“No, I mean he’s got to do what he’s got to for work. I understand that. Again, I’m just very thankful he has been willing to take me in. He already has a daughter, Dawn Giles, I’m sure you’ve heard of her, she goes here, and Spike, his adopted son, he’s at the local community college.”

Mr. Wood shrugged and replied, “The name rings a bell, but I can’t say that I’ve ever seen Dawn. This a big school as I’m sure you’ve noticed. Sounds like you’ve got a full house? Do you have siblings?”

“No, actually. I was an only child. My parents liked our dynamic so much, they were always afraid that it would change if they had another child. It’s a bit of a change, having other people around that are the same age as you. Expecting you to spend time with them constantly. All three of our personalities are so different. It’s definitely taken some getting used to.” Buffy answered.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what was the dynamic of you and your parents? What were they so afraid of losing exactly?” he asked curiously.

“Well, from what my mom told me, my parents tried to have a child for a long while. Then I came along without them even planning to have me. We did everything together. We would plan these trips on the weekends when I was kid to random places just to get away. They would create these little puzzles to help me figure out where we were going. Then when I got older I started participating in a lot of sports at school. When I was in middle school I tried out for cheerleading, much to my parent’s surprise. I was always flying around the house, doing somersaults on my bed, and I just wanted the opportunity to put all that energy into something cool. I’m not really sure what they saw me doing in terms of hobbies, but I don’t think it was cheerleading. I was bit with the competitive cheerleading bug from the time I made my middle school’s team until…until I moved here. My parents were incredibly supportive and attended all the football games, competitions, and sometimes even the practices.”

“Sounds like that really meant a lot to you.”

“Yes, absolutely.” Buffy replied softly.

“So, you said that you aren’t doing cheerleading here. What are you doing? I noticed that almost all of your classes are Advanced Placement this semester. That means you must be interested in a four-year college somewhere. Just so you’re aware, it takes more than just AP courses to get the attention of a university now days. You’re going to need extracurriculars on your college applications.”

Buffy let out a frustrated sigh, “Somehow I figured you would say that.”

“I’m not here to lecture you, Buffy. But I am here to keep you informed and to help you. I would hate to see you put all this work into classes and then not get accepted to where you wanted.”

“Well, that’s the problem, Mr. Wood. I don’t know where I want to go.”

“I’m lost. Forgive me, but your parents sound like the kind of people who had a plan for their daughter who was about to start her senior year of high school.” He offered.

 “Yes, well, um, originally. Before I moved here, I…kind of planned on attending the University of Tennessee. I was offered a scholarship my junior year of high school. My parents and I spent a lot of time making highlight videos and meeting with the cheerleading coach at UT. They were very enthusiastic about having me on the team and I was excited about attending UT. But, Mr. Wood, I’m not doing cheerleading anymore and it’s not like I’ve got much going for me outside of that. I don’t have a savings plan for college and the thought of taking out loans makes me uncomfortable. Honestly, recently, I’ve been wavering towards attending the local community college. A degree, is a degree. And if I can pay for it myself, or perhaps do well on my AP exams, then that would exempt me from a lot of those freshman year classes. I figured it would save me money.”

“That’s a very well flushed out back up plan for sure Buffy, but- ” Mr. Wood began but she ignored him.

“Do you know what UT said when I told them I wasn’t interested in competitive cheerleading anymore, Mr. Wood?”

“I would imagine they were shell shocked after you spent all of your years honing your craft to just walk away from something that quickly.”

“You would think that wouldn’t you? But actually, you’re wrong. They replaced me. Easily. They found another girl to take my scholarship. Actually, they already had someone in mind, they told me as much before I got off the phone with them. And do you know what’s funny? It didn’t bother me. It actually made me realize that the only reason I liked cheerleading was because of my parents. It was something we did together. And now that…well, obviously that part of my life is in the past, my _back up_ plan is my plan, Mr. Wood.”

Mr. Wood was silent. Finally, he smiled and said, “Okay, Buffy. Listen, I think we should end here for today, but I would like to see you again, next week if that’s ok?”

Buffy smarted and responded in a cynical tone, “What…have you _determined_ I’m one of those ‘can’t handle transferring schools’ students?”

“No, I think you’ve handled that quite nicely, better than most I would venture. But, I sense an uneasiness with you under the surface. There's a few things I would like to unpack. Besides, I would like the opportunity to get to know one of our newest students. If that’s okay with you?”

“So, I’m a psychology experiment for you. You want to open me up, inspect my insides, and patch me back up.” She accused.

“No, Ms. Summers. Let me be very clear. The students that I see at this school attend our sessions because they want to be here. You are free to talk about whatever you want with me. I'm not going to push you to talk about something you don't want to or are not ready to open up about. But, I will be honest with you and it is inevitable that I will get very frustrated with you. At the end of the day, it's your life. I say all of this with the caveat that just because I’m asking to see you again doesn’t mean that’s what you want. Just think about it and get back to me.” Mr. Wood pulled out his notepad where he wrote his excuses for students who missed class. He wrote something quick and pulled the paper free from the pad. He handed it to Buffy with a small smile and rolled his chair over to his computer sending the signal that their session was over.

Buffy took the note and looked down at the excuse he provided for the hour she missed of gym class. She grabbed her things, exited his office and headed for AP Literature. _Why couldn’t this get her out of Lit class instead of her gym period?_

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter went through several iterations. I'm still not completely happy with this, but I have a sense of the direction that I want to go and I believe that this chapter gets me there. Hope everybody has had a great weekend!


	5. Chapter 5

Nights like tonight were Buffy’s favorite in the Giles household. Every Friday night, when Rupert wasn’t out of town for business, he and Dawn cooked dinner for the house from one of the many family cookbooks. Normally afterward, Dawn would head out to Venice High’s football game to meet up with friends and Buffy would find herself on the comfy couch in the living room watching TV or a movie. Sometimes Rupert would join her and other times it was both Spike and Rupert who would watch a movie or TV with her. Her favorite part about this tradition was on nights like this the sting of her parents’ absence was less painful and she almost felt like a normal teenager just sitting down on a Friday night for dinner and a movie with her family.    

She was up in her room listening to the sounds coming from the kitchen downstairs. She heard Dawn’s bubbly laugh, followed by the timer on the oven going off. Rupert was singing “Soul Man” by Sam and Dave, the timbre of his voice overpowering the volume of the speakers. Buffy was already getting ahead on her next paper for AP Literature, a review of Henry Vaghn’s poem “The World” due next week. She was in the middle of reviewing the paragraph she just wrote when she heard a knock at her door. She glanced over from her desk to find Spike leaning languidly against her doorway simply dressed in all black from his cotton t-shirt to his trademark combat boots.

His head motioned towards the laptop at her desk, “Going to give it a rest tonight, pet?”

She nodded smiling. She hadn’t really spoken to Spike since she’d worked on her Hamlet paper in the kitchen of the pool house the previous weekend. The truth was, it didn’t matter that she hadn’t seen him, he had been on her mind regardless. She’d turned over and over again the words he’d said prior to her leaving that night.

‘ _That’s fine, but maybe at some point, you’ll want to talk, yeah? Would you at least keep me in mind? That’s all I have to say.’_

Spike pushed off the doorframe and wandered into Buffy’s room. He looked around noting the subtle changes she’d made to the room since the first time he’d been in here. When Buffy first arrived at the Giles home, Spike had helped her hang all of her decorations on the walls and reassembled her furniture when Rupert wasn’t available. She could still remember him holding a nail between his teeth as she held the level in place so they could place each picture frame on the wall. He fingered a picture of Buffy and her parents by her closet. It was taken her freshman year of high school when she was voted on the Freshman Homecoming Court. Buffy and her parents were huddled in close smiling at the camera on the football field.

He moved on and eventually turned and sat down on her bed. He sat forward a bit placing his elbows on his knees watching the small blonde with his blue eyes. He was so close their knees could touch if Buffy shifted her body in line with his. Instead, she kept her body facing the computer closing the laptop with a soft click.

“How was your week?” she asked trying _and failing_ to ignore Spike’s proximity in this position.

“It was fine, for someone who doesn’t…what was it you said, pet? _‘Live in the real world’_?”

“Never going to let me live that one down,” Buffy remarked playfully.

Spike’s lips formed a smirk, “No.”

Buffy sighed and shook her head.

His long frame leaned back onto her bed his hand pulling a pillow underneath his head to cushion it. He watched her for a moment before he asked, “So what’s new with you?”

Buffy couldn’t help but admire Spike’s body stretched out on _her bed_. _Does he really have to do that?_ She wondered. After a minute she realized she had yet to respond and said, “Nothing really. You’ll be happy, this assignment I’m working on is the first of many papers. We’ve entered the Poetry section of AP Literature. Yak.”

“Careful, pet. I know a bloke who is very familiar with poetry.” Spike mentioned.

“Oh, I’m sure you do.” Buffy teased.

At that moment, Dawn entered Buffy’s room and announced, “Dinner’s ready!” She skipped out hitting the stairs two a time. Buffy and Spike exchanged amused looks and he pushed up from the bed. They exited out of her room together and came down the spiral staircase towards the kitchen.

The Giles household was organized differently compared to the home designs Buffy was used to in Tennessee. Almost every modern neighborhood in her hometown had a Shingle style architecture and all the homes looked the same minus the color and trim. In Los Angeles, Buffy found the variations in building architecture refreshing. The Giles house was styled after a European country home. There was floor to ceiling windows on the first floor and a terrace on the second floor where the master bedroom was located. Around the side and back of the house were windows signifying the second and third bedrooms with private bathrooms. The back of the house had double glass doors on the first floor instead of windows that could be opened to let a breeze blow into the home for entertainment. The inside of the home was almost all hardwood and the walls were an ivory with wooden trim. Buffy’s favorite part of the house, however, was the backyard. Their house was situated on a piece of land that faced a canal. The water was hardly ever turbulent and provided a nice natural sound of flowing water down the canal. There was a small garden area off of the patio with various potted plants, a firepit, chairs and a pool with an adjacent pool house.

When Buffy and Spike landed in the kitchen Dawn asked, “Buffy, can you get the placemats and silverware and set up the patio?” She was removing what looked like a casserole from the oven.

Buffy removed the placemats and silverware from their respective drawers and set up the outdoor table on the patio. The breeze felt nice tonight as she moved around the table setting each place and returning to the kitchen for wine glasses. Whenever they ate together, Giles allowed Dawn and Buffy to drink wine with their food. Giles and Spike typically either had a few craft brews or joined in drinking wine. Buffy walked over to the fridge and removed the bottle of Barbera that had been set there earlier for tonight. She extracted the wine opener from the silverware drawer. Spike was sitting at the island on one of the tall counter stools watching and Buffy motioned with the wine bottle and glasses to him. He shook his head and she reached back into the fridge and hooked the remaining fingers available around a beer bottle. She brought it from the fridge and received an affirmative nod from Spike.

“Buffy, love, can you get me one of those too, please?” Giles called from the open double glass doors setting what appeared to be the final dish on the table on the patio.

Spike jumped up from the chair, “I’ll get those, don’t worry about. You take care of the wine.” When he took the beer bottle from her hands his fingers gently brushed hers. Buffy looked up to see if Spike had noticed the touch, but he appeared to be too busy pulling the other beer out of the fridge.

When he closed the fridge and found her still standing there he tilted his head with a curious smile, “You okay, pet?” He reached out and placed his hand on her shoulders. His touch was featherlight, but that was all she needed to _feel_ it. And felt it, she did. She felt her skin zing at the brush of his fingers.

“Yeah, I’m g-good.” She said in a breath.

She looked up into his azure eyes and for a moment there was a pause between the two of them. He seriously studied her face and she mirrored him. When she blinked it was over, she felt her body being moved to the side, and Spike gently brushing past her. Her body jumping with his contact on her shoulder, arms and side.  

Before she realized it she was already alone in the kitchen. _Alright, Buff, what the fuck now. Let’s get it together._

She returned to the patio table, handing Rupert the Barbera and opener finally sitting down at the remaining place at the table.

“This looks really good, Dawn.” Buffy piped up holding her plate in one hand and spooning pasta casserole in the other.

“Thanks, you can always trust the family cookbook.”

“It’s editable food, little bit. I’m chuffed.” Spike added smiling impishly at Dawn.

“Who wants wine?” Rupert asked pulling the final bit of the cork out of the bottle.

Buffy and Dawn raised their glasses and Rupert filled them setting the bottle down. Rupert and Spike started to fix their plates as Buffy and Dawn ate in silence.

“So,” Rupert smiled, “How has school been? Dawn, Buffy?”

“Great!” Dawn replied, “I somehow managed to convince the football coach that we should start doing that Touchdowns for Cancer fundraiser that a lot of the other schools around Venice are doing this season. We are donating some of our proceeds tonight to St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital. Hence my t-shirt!”

Buffy looked at Dawn’s t-shirt noting that it had the school’s colors and displayed the logo for St. Jude’s Children’s Research Center on it. She couldn’t help but admire her, _for just a moment_ , she thought. She had volunteered to help at one of Dawn’s fundraising events at the beginning of the semester helping receive school supplies donations for children in the area. She had to admit, Dawn had a knack for organizing large events and getting everybody on board because of her bubbly personality. Buffy wasn’t surprised that she was able to convince the football coach to donate some of the ticket sales at the game for charity.

“Dawn, that’s great news,” Rupert replied with a kind smile. You could always tell he was proud of Dawn and the fundraisers she organized at school. He turned to Buffy, “How are you adjusting to the AP classes? Dawn told me you’re taking several?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just AP Calculus, AP Literature, and AP Biology. It’s really not that big of a deal.”

Dawn impersonated Buffy in a joking manner, “No big deal. I basically don’t have a life.”

Buffy laughed, “That’s about right it seems.”

Spike pointed his fork at the blonde and said, “This one, always working on a paper. How many papers is it you have to write for AP Lit, love?”

“One paper for every section. So, right now we’re studying poetry and the teacher has _ever so generously_ split up the papers into mini-reviews of each poem that is on the reading list.”

“I’m glad I chose not to take that course,” Dawn said with her phone in hand looking at something on a social media app.

“Much to my dismay.” Rupert chimed, “But I am happy to see you filling your time with something other than _parties…._ all the time.”

Dawn stuck her tongue out at her dad.

“So, I talked to my professor about teaching English to students in high school the other day. She seems to think I would be good at, and I think so, but I’ve got to figure out what all I will need to do in order to get a teaching certification.” Spike offered in between bites of pasta. He paused and took a swig of his beer catching Buffy’s eye as he did. He held eye contact with her as he set the beer down and raised his eyebrows playfully.

Buffy sheepishly looked away feeling blood rush to her face. _Why was it suddenly so hot in here?_ She blamed the wine. 

Spike dabbed his mouth with a napkin hiding a satisfied smirk at her reaction.

“That’s great!” Rupert responded taking a swig of his beer and continuing with his pasta, “You know, I have a colleague at work who has a daughter that teaches. I could probably ask him what certifications she had to acquire. I think there’s an exam you have to take, isn’t there?”

Spike replied, “Yes, but my professor has had a couple of students that have taken those exams and have received their certifications to teach in the state of California. They weren’t in a teaching cohort or anything. I’m definitely going to reach out to them and find out.”

Spike’s gaze floated back over to Buffy again. The petite blonde seemed to find her dinner plate extremely interesting now. Spike found this all too amusing.

 “I think Spike teaching English is the perfect job for him.” Dawn pipped-up setting her phone down and sipping the rest of her wine, “Dad, if it’s okay, I’d like to go ahead and head out to the game. We’ve got to get the tables set up at the entrance. The set-up crew is already texting me.”

“That’s fine, dear. I love you, sweetheart,” Rupert replied. Dawn picked up her plate and bent down to kiss her father on the cheek.

“Love you,” she responded.

“Just set the dishes on the counter. I’ll do them later.” Rupert instructed.

“Bullocks that. You lot cooked. I’ll do dishes, yeah?” Spike interjected.

“Bye, bit. Love you.” Spike murmured as Dawn hugged his neck with her free hand. Dawn hummed in response and Spike kissed the top her head. She released Spike and was off through the double glass doors into the kitchen.

Buffy’s heart clenched. She’d heard him say that he loved Dawn before. He said it frequently and always when they parted from each other. She’d always thought it was incredibly sweet, but it affected her differently this time. Something within her stomach tightened at his open expression of love for his adopted sister.

Spike turned his attention back to the table finding Buffy gazing at him again. But when he silently returned her attention for several seconds, she didn’t look away.  She still blamed the wine.

And so, the night ended with Buffy on the comfy couch, being shooed from the kitchen by Spike. Rupert excused himself for the evening, telling her goodnight, and kissing her on the head. She watched him climb up of the spiral staircase and when he was gone she turned back to the TV.

_Pine trees. Glass breaking. Her mother mouthing something to her, was it ‘I love you’ was it ‘I’m sorry’? The tree slams through the car windshield and blood splashes onto her cheerleading uniform…everything in her vision starts shaking…someone is calling her name…someone is shaking her…._

_“Buffy!”_

She jolts awake hard and suddenly she is falling. It takes her a second to process that she was on the couch and she’s about to hit the hardwood floor. But she doesn’t, instead, someone with strong arms catches her scooping her up into their lap tucking her head into their neck.

She smells musk, hair gel, peppermint. Her hands grasp a cotton black shirt. She’s sweaty and a sob exits out of her mouth before she can cram it back down. Thick tears blur her vision partially because she is embarrassed she’s been found like this by _him_ and partially because of the nightmare.

“What the _fuck_.” his voice, barely above a whisper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to post this chapter. I was out of town on business for work and didn’t have time to complete it prior to leaving. Let me know what you think? :) How do you think this whole Spike discovering Buffy has pretty intense nightmares thing is going to go?


	6. Chapter 6

“What the _fuck_.” his voice, barely above a whisper.

Buffy contemplated what Spike’s face looked like in the glow of the TV. Judging by his response, she felt incredibly embarrassed and couldn’t imagine what he must be thinking. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him. What emotion would those blue eyes hold? Pity, comfort, or concern? She distracted her thoughts by pulling her sweater sleeve up to her nose and wiping it before she made a move to get up from his arms. She needed to put distance between the two of them. Spike smelled incredibly good, and she found herself wanting to capture as much of his essence as possible in this position. Her fingers twitched to touch his face, hair, shoulders, and lips. These feelings sent off alarm bells in Buffy’s head. Spike, unknowingly, just walked in on Buffy having her reoccurring nightmare of her parents. Now was not the time to express how she was feeling about the bleached blonde. She moved her feelings and body to the other end of the loveseat.

Spike felt burned by how quickly Buffy moved to get away from him. He rubbed his hands on his black jeans and said cautiously, “Love, you know I told you that I wasn’t going to bother you with questions. But that was some nightmare.”

“Yep, it was.” She sniffed. She tilted her head using her hand as a headrest and gazed at him.  

“Has that happened before?” He asked turning his body towards Buffy. He couldn’t help it. The desire to make her feel safe, to use touch to express that, was much stronger than any other feeling he had at this moment. Fantasies of ways he could comfort her filled his head. He had to push that aside and focus on getting her to talk about what he had just witnessed. As he repositioned, his knee touched hers, and when she didn’t turn away from him, his lips turned up into a small smile.

“Yes, unfortunately.” Buffy regarded their knees as well. How was it possible that merely touching his knee stirred butterflies? _Seriously, Buff, get a grip!_

Spike sighed looking at the TV for a moment before asking, “I’m going to make a cuppa. Would you like one?”  

“I would love one, yes,” Buffy responded a little bit relieved at the change of topic.  

Spike got up from the couch and strode into the kitchen. He flipped the light on above the stove so he could pull out the cups, tea bags, milk, and sugar from their respective places. He turned the knob eliciting the familiar pop and hiss of a gas stove, filled the tea kettle with water, and slid it into place.

Buffy had followed Spike into the kitchen and was now sitting on one of the kitchen stools next to the stove.

Spike turned around and remained close to the oven. He watched Buffy for a moment and finally said, “What has Giles told you about me?”

Buffy pulled her sweater tight around her body and responded, “Not very much. As you can imagine, we didn’t talk a lot about living here when he came to pick me up and bring me back. We were both in our thoughts.”

Spike nodded, “But you do know that I was adopted.”

“Yes, actually, my parents told me you were adopted.”

“So, I used to live in London with my mum. My dad has never been in the picture, so my mum raised me until I was nine years old. Rupert, as you know, used to live in England and he worked for my mum’s father. When I was about eight, my mum started showing signs that…” Spike struggled to find the right words, “she wasn’t all there. She was supposed to be on medication for her mental health, but she wasn’t taking her medicine. My grandfather genuinely thought if we came to live with him everything would change. That mum’s health would improve. But as I’ve mentioned, she wasn’t in her right mind at this point, and even though my grandfather did everything he could eventually he checked her into a mental health facility. During the time that this was happening, Giles’ wife passed away suddenly. He told my grandfather he intended on leaving the company and moving himself and Dawn to the United States. My grandfather asked him if he would take me with him. I guess he didn’t see anything in me living with him until I turned eighteen. He paid Rupert to cover all of my expenses for myself while I lived here.”

“So, initially, excuse me,” Spike turned hearing the kettle start to whistle, “how do you like your tea, Buffy?”

“However is fine with me.”

He poured milk, sugar, and placed a tea bag in each cup. He gently poured water into both cups stirring it with the same spoon. He blew on the mixture before putting it in front of Buffy. She wrapped her fingers around it and brought to her lips. Spike took the other mug and carefully took a sip. For a few seconds, they sipped tea just watching each other.

Spike finally set his cup down and said, “So, initially, Giles told me that I would stay here until I was eighteen. But then my grandfather died when I was in high school, and my mum passed away during middle school. Giles, long before high school, was a surrogate father for me, and he adopted me since I didn’t have a legal guardian, and I was underage. Similar to the situation that you are in now.”

Spike smiled sheepishly, “So, the point of this rather lengthy story, is that when I first moved here, I had dreams about my mum every night. In my dreams, I would save her. I saved her hundreds of times. Hundreds of different ways. I think it was my brain trying to find a way to cope with what happened to her. I thought if I could prevent it or beat fate I could have her back. The woman I remember, not the shell of what I had in the end. I know the dreams I had are different from yours. But, truthfully, and I don’t want to sound ridiculous suggesting it, but I had to have professional help to work through it at that time. I went to a therapist for years. You can’t do it yourself, which is why I keep asking you if you want to talk about what happened, because it does help. And I might understand. Maybe not everything, but some of what you’re going through.”

“I don’t think you sound ridiculous at all.” Buffy admitted, “I’m sorry about your mom and grandfather. I didn’t know about that.”

“It’s alright, love.” Spike picked his tea back up and took a sip. After a beat, he asked softly, “Would you tell me, Buffy? What happened in that nightmare?” Spike regarded her quietly with his head tilted to the side.

“The nightmare that you saw me having is…when the accident happened. We were in a car; we went off a guardrail. I don’t have it every night, but….” Buffy sniffed glancing over at the kitchen sink trying to look anywhere but at the bleached blond in front of her. Her vison started to blur from thick tears in her eyes. She quickly wiped them away and cleared her throat.

Spike crossed the small space between them in seconds. At first, he didn’t know how exactly to reach for her. How to comfort her. Finally, he resigned to resting his head against the side of hers. His lips close to her ear and his hand reached her back and slowly rubbed circles into it. He whispered sweet ministrations into her ear.

Several minutes passed with them like this. The only sound heard, other than the TV in the living room, was Spike whispering into her ear _sweetheart, Buffy, love, pet, it’s going to be okay, breathe_.

Finally, Buffy said hoarsely, “I don’t want people to feel pity for me. My parents and I had so many wonderful times together, and I don’t want to let what happened to them ruin those memories. It is hard every day. To remember the good times, but I try to at least once a day.”

“I don’t pity you. I think you’re incredibly strong, love.” Spike answered with conviction.  

Buffy sat at the island for a few minutes. Finishing her tea, taking deep breaths, and trying to focus on Spike’s hand rubbing her back. She wanted to grab his hand, put his skin to her lips, and express the gratitude she felt for him being so patient with her and everything that had happened to her. Perhaps some other time she could repay him for his kindness.

“Will you help me get to bed?” She asked getting up from the counter taking her cup and grabbing Spike’s as well. She washed the cups out with water and set them in the kitchen sink.

Spike stood in the glow of the oven light watching as the petite blonde did this. He followed Buffy as she walked into the living room and shut the TV off. He took the spiral staircase slowly with her up to her bedroom. Buffy closed the door and fumbled in the dark for the lamp at her desk. She flipped it on and managed to make it to bed, and Spike turned the covers down. He pulled them back over her and tucked the blankets in tight. His hands cupped her head placing a kiss on her forehead. He got up to turn the lamp off at her desk.

“Spike?” her voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes, love?”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He quietly let himself out of her bedroom shutting the door. He stood outside just for a moment and pressed his forehead into her door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now we know Spike’s backstory and how he came to live with Rupert and Dawn. We also learned that Dawn was about 3 years old when her mother passed. This explains why Dawn has never spoken about her mother or really shown signs of empathy for what Buffy is going through. She simply does not remember her mother and cannot adequately commensurate with her. Finally, and the most important, Buffy let Spike in regarding what she’s been dealing with and this an important key step in her healing process. What did you guys think?


End file.
